For those who carry more inside

than they ever show

"If you don’t know how to say no,

your body will say it for you

through physical illness."​

Dr Gabor Maté

Life can be full.

And often we keep going, even when something in us is asking for a pause.

How often do you notice your body's signals - and carry on anyway?

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Your body might quietly - or not so quietly - and consistently nudge you with:

 

• A tight jaw

• Recurring tension

• Headaches or back pain

• Anxiety or anger

• Constantly feeling tired 

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May I offer a different perspective?

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What if these signals aren't something to push through, but

something to listen to?

 

There is a growing understanding that the body holds and

processes far more than we consciously think about.

 

And when we begin to include the body, something starts to shift, sometimes in surprising ways and with remarkable results.

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Your invitation to reflect​​​

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You might like to take a few moments for yourself. 

No pressure, no analysis, no judgement - just noticing. 

Perhaps with a cup of something warming or refreshing, maybe with some relaxing music in the background ... whatever signals me-time to you. 

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Ask yourself:
 

In the previous seven days:
 

• Where didn't I say no, although I wanted to?
  (maybe a friend asked to have coffee with you, but you were tired, a co-worker asked you a favour, although you were already working overtime, your partner wanted sex, but you weren't in the mood ...)
   

• What was the impact?
  (maybe you became tired, irritated, resentful, moody, your back started playing up, your muscles tensed up, your tummy grumbled, the headache started …)
   

• What was the belief behind my inability to say no?
  (Again, be really honest with yourself, you don't need to share this with anybody. And you might come up with old beliefs like: I'm not caring enough, I'm a bad person, I feel guilty, I'm selfish …)
   

• Where and when did I learn this belief?
  (probably in childhood, do you also remember the situation? Do you hear the voice that instilled that belief in you?)
   

• Who would I be without this belief?
  (Imagine your world without this belief, even if it's challenging. Trust your answer, it'll come ...)
   

• Where am I not saying yes? A yes, that wants to be said but isn't said.
  (That might be a yes to yourself, your interests and your needs, e.g. you are passionate about something and want to do that or go there, but you are prioritising somebody or something else, putting somebody's needs first, are too busy, too tired, too stressed, too …)
  
  
  Please remember, there's nothing 'to fix' here, just something to become aware of.
  
  Noticing where you override yourself is often the first step and awareness is where change begins.

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If this resonates

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Real change requires more than awareness or thinking differently, it comes from feeling safe enough to respond differently.

 

If your system is used to pushing through, saying 'no' can feel incredibly difficult. 

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Not because you don't understand it, but because your body hasn't caught up, yet.

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This is where approaches like TRE® can be supportive. 

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Rather than analysing or revisiting the past, we focus on the body's ability to let go. 

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This process can create the capacity for clearer boundaries, more resilience and a more authentic way of being. 

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You're very welcome to get in touch to explore whether this approach feels like a good fit. ​

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A single conversation can often be the beginning of something shifting.  

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Sylvia  

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PS:
Credit for this exploration goes to Dr Gabor Maté; I first encountered it during one of his lectures and found it incredibly resonant as it offers a powerful framework for the kind of somatic shifting we explore here.

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PPS:

Here's a very brief video of Gabor talking about attachment vs authenticity  and the stress it can cause when not being authentic. And this leads us back to TRE as an innate and natural stress release practice.