Why your nervous system doesn’t care about your resolutions (and what to do instead)
- Sylvia
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
Do you know what was significant about yesterday (Friday 9th January)?
It’s known as Quitters’ Day (second Friday in January).
The day when most people abandon their New Year’s resolutions.
And no, Quitters’ Day isn’t about laziness or a lack of discipline.
It’s about asking too much of ourselves, too quickly, often for the wrong reasons and at a – for many people – particularly bleak and dark time in the middle of winter.
Every January, we repeat the same ritual:
New Year, New You.
Lose weight.
Be calmer.
Be happier.
Be better.
Be different.
Why New Year’s resolutions so often fail.
People don’t fail at resolutions because they lack motivation.
They fail because the brain and nervous system are being asked to change under pressure:
without safety, realism or support - and sometimes – or often? – the heart isn't in it at all.
Lasting change doesn’t come from forcing the body to comply.
Lasting change comes when the body feels safe enough to change.
And this matters, not just for goals like weight loss or fitness, but for:
Emotional regulation
Relationships
Sleep
Stress levels
How we respond rather than react
Burnout prevention
In other words: How we live.
Talking about relationships …
Just a few days ago, on January 5th, we passed ‘National Divorce Day’ (the first working Monday of the new year).
The date when lawyers see the highest spike in filings.
It’s a stark reminder that the holidays often act as a pressure cooker for relationships.
And it's a given that working on your relationship costs significantly less than a divorce.
And I’m not just talking about the financial burden.
The emotional cost of living in a state of constant Fight or Flight with the person you love is a price no one should have to pay.
When we’re stressed and dysregulated:
We snap more easily
Misunderstand more often
Withdraw or overreact
Repeat old patterns despite our best intentions
Here, too, a well-regulated nervous system is key.
When practising TRE the muscles soften, the nervous system follows and in that quiet moment, something shifts.
And relationships can improve: With yourself, your body and the people around you.
Did you know that David Berceli, PhD, the creator of TRE used TRE as a mediation tool between populations that were at war with each other?
You can read more here.
Last, but not least, the classic new year's resolution is weight loss and January gyms tell the story well.
By the second week of January, the gym is quieter, the juice cleanses are forgotten and the inner critic is back in charge.
Not because we failed, but because our nervous systems and probably our hearts were never on board.
What’s often missed is this:
Weight struggles are rarely just about food, calories or willpower.
They’re deeply connected to stress, cortisol, emotional load and – most importantly – nervous system regulation.
A body that feels unsafe, overwhelmed or constantly braced will:
Cling
Protect
Conserve
Resist letting go
What if 2026 didn’t need another resolution?
What if it asked for something quieter, deeper?
A reset, rather than a reinvention?
A Jikiden Reiki colleague of mine, who's lived in Japan for a number of years, shared something really interesting.
In Japan, the New Year is marked by a series of gentle 'firsts':
Hatsumōde — the first temple visit of the year
Hatsuhinode — witnessing the first sunrise
Hatsuyume — the first dream
Hatsuware — the first laugh
No goals.
No pressure.
Just moments of orientation, intention and presence.
I rather like that.
So here’s my wish for all of us this year, after all, I'm also a Laughter Yoga Leader:
May we experience more Hatsuware: More genuine laughter, joy, ease and lightness.
And here's where TRE comes in and why it’s different
TRE® (Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises) doesn’t ask you to:
Push harder
Analyse or relive your past
'Fix' yourself
Or add another item to your to-do list
It works with the body’s innate shaking mechanism.
Something all mammals can apply to release stress – dogs do it beautifully.
A stressful incident.
A quick shake.
Life is good again.
TRE isn’t a chore.
It’s not another thing to be good at.
Many people describe TRE as:
Deeply relaxing
Relieving
Grounding
Surprisingly liberating
Pleasurable
Empowering
And once you’ve learned it safely, it’s yours.
For life
No dependency
No ongoing effort to 'be better'
Minimal time and effort needed
Just a way to let the body do what it already knows best.
And when tension reduces and the nervous system is back to its normal, healthy baseline, something interesting can happen:
Weight loss becomes easier
Emotional reactions soften
Sleep improves
Relationships feel less effortful
Resilience grows
Burnout can be prevented
Not because you forced change.
But because the body finally had space to shift.
A happy, successful, healthy New Year doesn’t start on 1st January.
It starts when your body feels safe enough to move out of Freeze, Fight or Flight and into regulation, connection and ease.
That might happen in January.
Or on an entirely ordinary Tuesday or Thursday.
Or now.
And that’s perfectly fine.
So if you’re feeling the pressure of 'New Year, New You' or are unhappy with your new year's resolutions … perhaps this year could be different.
Let's adjust:
No resolution.
No quitting.
Just a gentle reset.
And maybe, also a little more laughter along the way.
And laughter is a great way to release whatever we are holding in our diaphragm.
I've had a number of clients who were laughing out loudly at their first TRE experience.
Beautiful.
Oh, and there’s another January date you may hear a lot about – although apparently, it's a marketing myth as the research was never peer-reviewed and never published in a scientific journal.
I'm referring to Blue Monday on 19th January, typically the third Monday in January, and often described as the saddest day of the year.
The same applies to this date:
Gentle nervous-system regulation and movement can be supportive when sadness feels heavy.
With TRE I’ve supported clients through grief, relationship break-ups and other kinds of loss and it’s always moving to witness how, little by little, they reconnect with themselves, feeling more whole, steadier and comforted.
So as we move through January, I wish you a month that feels as smooth, calm, uplifting and joyful as possible.
And at least now you know a little more about one of the most natural, innate ways to support yourself along the way.
And if you'd like to discuss anything or explore how TRE can help you, I invite you to get in touch by sending me a message or booking a wee fact-finding chat.
Natural. Innate. TREmendous.
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