Carers, men and every body

This month marks Carers Week (9–15 June) and Men's Health Week (9–15 June), two important reminders to look after our own well-being.

I've written about the importance of carers – and this includes parents, too – and looking after their own health and well-being first before assisting others.

You probably know the famous oxygen mask analogy – putting on yours first before assisting others.

The guilt of stopping,

even for a moment, was huge.

But with TRE, I realised

that looking after myself is part of looking after my dad.

It’s the first time I don’t feel selfish for resting.”

Tom

A few months ago, I wrote about supporting my mum through a difficult period, I've also written about professional carers (and that included a film recommendation) and for Carers Week last year I've written about how surprisingly little time it takes to integrate TRE into daily life.

Now I realise that I haven't written much about men and their health and well-being.

Let me catch-up.

Admittedly, most of my clients are women.

Whether women are generally more likely to look after themselves and seek support if needed or whether that's simply my perception, I'm not entirely sure.

Or maybe I am biased?

Fact is that I'm always pleased when men find their way to TRE.

And one thing I hear regularly from male clients is how much they appreciate that TRE doesn't require them to talk about their experiences, analyse the past or find the 'right' words.

"One of the things I appreciated most about TRE was that I didn't have to explain myself.

I spend enough time analysing things in my head.

It was refreshing to work with my body instead."

Steve

Instead, TRE offers a natural, body-based approach that supports the release of tension in the body and the regulation of the nervous system.

I think that's pretty relevant when we consider some of the challenges men face.

• Around three-quarters of suicides in England and Wales are male and suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50

  
  

• Men are also less likely to access mental health support and are more likely to cope through alcohol, substance use, overwork, withdrawal or risk-taking behaviours

  
  

• Only around 36% of referrals to NHS Talking Therapies are men

  
  

• Many men seem to be comfortable investing time in maintaining their physical health (gym, running, sport, stretching) but have never been shown that their nervous system can be trained and supported in a similarly practical way. TRE can be seen as 'nervous system fitness' – but can also be very helpful for physical issues like sports injury recovery

Of course, many men do benefit enormously from counselling and psychotherapy.

I also feel that if somebody — whether they are male, female or non-binary — doesn't want to talk in order to address their challenges, they should be aware that there are alternatives on offer.

Somatic approaches, where we work with the body rather than through conversation, are such an option.

Stress, anxiety and overwhelm don't just affect our thoughts and mental health; they also affect our muscles, breathing patterns, digestion, sleep, energy levels and nervous system.

TRE offers a way of working with these physical aspects directly.

Many people, and particularly some of the men I work with, appreciate that TRE is practical, straightforward and easy to integrate into daily life.

"What surprised me most was how much calmer I felt afterwards, even though we hardly talked about what was causing my stress."

Alex

A short practice can often be enough to help release accumulated tension and support a greater sense of calm, balance and resilience.

Talking therapies remain an important and valuable resource.

Yet I believe body-based approaches deserve a place in the conversation too - whether as an alternative to or alongside talking therapies.

If any of this resonates with you and you'd like to learn more about TRE and explore how it can support you, I'd be happy to have a conversation.

Alternatively and apart from working with the body, I also offer energy-based modalities.

One of them is Silent Counselling, where we work on emotions that are stored in the body and we can energetically release them.

See what appeals to you and I'm here to answer any questions.

---

Source for the above figures are Matters of the Mind and NatWest Mentor.